ONLINE
BOOK

I encourage you to ask God to show you the gifts and talents He has given you. Then work at developing them and using them. Ask God how you can honor Him with these gifts. Give Him your doubts and fears-and don't take them back! When He guides you to do something, He will equip you with the wisdom and skills you need to succeed. Be thankful about what God has given you and about what He is going to do for you in the future.

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, I will write about the special abilities the Holy Spirit gives to each of us, for I must correct your misunderstandings about them. You know that when you were still pagans you were led astray and swept along in worshiping speechless idols. So I want you to know how to discern what is truly from God: No one speaking by the Spirit of God can curse Jesus, and no one is able to say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit. Now there are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but it is the same Holy Spirit who is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service in the church, but it is the same Lord we are serving. There are different ways God works in our lives, but it is the same God who does the work through all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church.

To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another he gives the gift of special knowledge. The Spirit gives special faith to another, and to someone else he gives the power to heal the sick. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and to another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to know whether it is really the Spirit of God or another spirit that is speaking. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, and another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Holy Spirit who distributes these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have" (1 Corinthians 12:1-11).

Be faithful with what you have

Be faithful with what God has given you. Keep your home, the kids and yourself clean and in order. Make the best use of what you have. Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and to grow. Do not get hung up on material things. The less I owned, the happier I became. Cleaning out the clutter can clear your mind.

"'Well done!' the king exclaimed. 'You are a trustworthy servant. You have been faithful with the little I entrusted to you, so you will be governor of ten cities as your reward'" (Luke 19:17). Seek advice Don't let pride stop you from getting the guidance you need. Whatever your dream, as you begin to make plans, do your research and seek counsel from godly, knowledgeable people. "Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many counselors bring success" (Proverbs 15:22).

His way, his time

Dream big dreams, set goals, make plans and write them down, and pray. And pray. And pray. And pray some more. Desire above all else to do things God's way and to trust Him for the timing. Sometimes it may seem as though He is really slow, but you can be sure that He is never late. "We should make plans-counting on God to direct us" (Proverbs 16:9 TLB).

" Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you" (1 Peter 5:7 TLB). " . . . pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NKJV).

Don't limit God

It is important that we don't set limits on God or ourselves. When we despair that we can't do something, we are really saying that we don't believe God can do it, because He's promised that we can do all things through Him. If you know you are in God's will, know also that you can succeed.

Put God first in all things, be obedient to His Word, and He who puts that desire in your heart will also give you the desires of your heart.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13 NKJV).

God has a personal plan for each of us

When I was hesitating about going to school at Barnes, a counselor asked me, "If you don't go to school, where will you be in two years?" Answer: still struggling on welfare instead of moving toward my dreams.

Sometimes I quit too soon before reaching my goals. Sometimes I got off track and missed God's plan for me. But I kept trying to find my niche in life. I knew that God had a plan just for me. I prayed hour after hour and drew very close to Jesus. Sometimes I thought that if I met Jesus face to face, He would look at me, smile and say, "Please don't talk so much!" But He never said that. I came to understand that He wants to hear from us-all the time.

Prayer works!

Prayer truly is the answer. Prayer works! Of all of the101 adventures I've taken and dreams I've had, most of them never panned out. But every time one door closed, new doors of adventure opened as a trail of faith began. Trials help us grow. As long as we keep our eyes on Jesus, He will bring good out of even the worst events. And remember, what the world calls failure may not be failure at all in God's eyes. The greatest success is to accomplish God's purpose for us. Don't ever give up. Always remember, you are special to Him and He has great purpose for your life.

" Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you" (Jeremiah 1:5 The Message).

Help me to accomplish the purpose of my journey. (Genesis 24:12)

My dreams

God has planted many dreams in my heart . . . to write a book, to write songs, to help homeless and abused women and children. I have also had some of my own dreams-good things, but not in God's plan for my life. I am learning to trust Him and desire His will above all else. When I was in prayer about what to do with my life, I heard this word as clear as crystal: entrepreneur. I did not even know what the word meant, so I looked it up in the dictionary. Was this my calling?

Another dream that I had for a long time was to open a bakery and cafe. The fulfillment of this dream began back in the 80s when I worked out of my home making cakes for friends, and then friends of friends, and then people I didn't even know. I began writing down plans and creating a menu.

I knew I had a good product to sell, so I thought I had better make myself legal. First, I needed a name. I decided on "Goody Goodies Baker" and registered the name with the Department of Revenue. I submitted an application for a corporation called "God's Good Works, Inc." and used this for tax purposes under a Sub S Corporation.

Next, I wrote a business plan. After researching location, population, type and cost of machinery needed, and figuring the cost of each product I planned to make, I wrote a five-year cash flow projection. Next, I submitted my business plan to a bank for a loan. My Aunt Louise had left me $5000 when she died. That $5000, along with an additional $5000 from my husband Jack and money from the sale of my home in Rush, Colorado, would cover most of my inventory, but I needed a bank loan for the balance of the start-up expenses. Finally, my ten-year dream became a reality.

I changed the name of the business to Rock Island Bakery, which seemed more fitting than Goody Goodies Bakery for the location I'd found. Rock Island Railway ran from Colorado Springs to Rock Island, Illinois, traveling through the little towns of Ramah, Smila and Calhan. I also bought the original trademark for the Rock Island, which was available because this train was no longer running. Before the run stopped, the Rock Island had become a dinner and theater train. Passengers boarded in Colorado Springs, and as they traveled east toward Kansas, the dinner and play would unravel mysteries and fantasies. I was able to obtain a number of train artifacts, pictures, antiques and history books regarding the Rock Island and other train line history and displayed these items throughout the bakery.

A Stressful Time

Getting ready to open the bakery and cafe proved to be more challenging and stressful than I had dreamed possible. After we purchased the building, Jack became resentful, saying that I had forced him to sign the papers, that it was not what he wanted to do and that we were moving too fast. Nevertheless, the building was ours.

The next week, we had the water turned on, only to shut it off again because all the water pipes were busted. Jack replaced all the pipes and installed a commercial drain for the sink.

I was stretching myself beyond my limits during this time. For almost a year, I had been renting a kitchen from a local restaurant in Simla, Colorado, called Country Corner Café. The café was owned by a wonderful couple who helped me extensively throughout the process of opening my own bakery. I used their kitchen facilities from midnight until they opened at seven in the morning. Then I spent the mornings delivering my baked goods to a number of small stores-deliveries that took about an hour. After that, I spent the day trying to get my bakery ready to open. I was exhausted and had no time for my children. They were left to themselves to make dinner and were alone at home most of the time.

During this stressful time, Jack and my daughter got into a huge argument, and Stephanie ran away from home. We were so worried and frantically looked for her day and night. We registered her with the police and the missing children's hot line. Finally, her step-mom was able to track her down through the Internet. It turned out she had gone with a group of young people traveling in a van and staying in cheap hotels. They sold magazines door to door all over the country and just happened to be in Colorado Springs when they approached Stephanie and invited her to join them. She ended up in Oklahoma and was caught because the kids did not have a permit to sell magazines there.

Shortly after this incident, Jack was electrocuted while at work. It went through his shoulder and out the bottom of his foot. He was hospitalized for many weeks and he was never the same after this accident, and my third marriage came to an end, mostly because Stephanie did not want to live with Jack ever again. Jack moved all of our belongings out on the front lawn. I rented a big U-Haul truck. The kids and I loaded the truck, took the dog, and headed for Colorado Springs to find a place to live. I had very little money. We stayed in a hotel one night. Then I put everything in storage, and we moved into the building we had bought for the bakery. There was no heat-we didn't have the money to hook up the propane. After about two weeks, a friend learned of our plight and insisted that we live with her until we found a place.

Sometime later, we found a small trailer in a nearby town. I really could not afford the trailer, but I was still determined to open the bakery, so I borrowed some money from my family so the kids and I could live in the trailer while we worked to get the bakery open.

The trials continued. It seemed as though we'd take one step forward only to fall back two. The water heater broke. Someone broke into the building, stealing several train pictures, damaging the electrical box and breaking the back window. My son accidentally broke the glass in the display case. The refrigerators and cash register suddenly stopped working. Then, to top it all off, the sewer backed up.

We needed to repair all the broken items, as well as install the oven, triple sink, vent system, a back splash, hand sink and mop sink. All the work had to be approved and up to code. I had no money left for equipment, but was able to buy some items on credit from the lady who sold me all of the restaurant equipment. I hired Tom Criswell, my friend Cindy's husband, as a helper, and he agreed to take payments after the bakery opened. Praise God for Tom and Cindy-they were such a blessing.

The bakery finally opened in June 1997. I had enough money left for some inventory and a little money in the cash register for change.

Success! Everyone loved my sweet rolls and sticky buns. The hottest selling meal was the biscuits and gravy.

My menus were handwritten because I could not afford a typewriter. Then a nice woman from the local bank told me of someone she knew who would help me type a professional menu. God is so good! Eventually I got a computer and created the Rock Island Cook Book and Bakery Procedures.

Back with Jack

After some time had passed, I realized that I wasn't quite ready to give up on my marriage to Jack. I wanted to try one more time to make it succeed. We moved in together, and the kids moved in with their dad in Arkansas. They did not want to live with Jack ever again, but I tried to hang on to hope. Jack went to church with me and even agreed to counseling. He really seemed to have had a change of heart.

I worked sixteen hours a day at the bakery and came home exhausted physically and emotionally. My assistant manager was a nightmare to work with-she thought she was the boss of my business and wanted to run it her way. Very depressed and exhausted, I told Jack I needed a vacation. He said, "No way. You need to keep the business open."

We fought one night over a pair of shoes. I asked that when Jack's daughters came over, they wouldn't leave their shoes in the living room because I would trip over them. I did not think I was asking too much, especially since he would put my kids' shoes on the front porch, rain or snow, when they left them in the living room. As we argued, Jack pushed me, threw me up against a wall and choked me.

I left the house with a change of clothes, thinking I was going to spend the night at a nearby friend's house. However, I went to the bakery first. By the time I got there, I was hysterical and decided to leave Jack and the bakery behind. I drove myself to my sister Mackenzie's house in California and stayed with her a few weeks. I had no money, clothes or shoes-only snow boots. My sister Mackenzie bought me some shoes and clothes, and I used her phone to find a job. Eventually, my friend Danielle's husband gave me a job working as a janitor for his cleaning business. I then moved in with my brother Matthew and cleaned and cooked for him in exchange for rent.

Brighter days

Finally, things started looking up. I got a great job at Xerox, and again my sister Mackenzie offered me one of her rentals for an affordable price. My daughter moved in with me and I began rebuilding my life.

I would like to add here what a blessing my children have been to me through the years. They rescued me from loneliness. And later my grandkids gave me a reason to live. At a time before my first granddaughter was born, I was feeling suicidal again and could not find purpose in my life. Her birth gave me new purpose. My grandkids bring such joy into my life.

After a period of time, I began dating Addison Tucker again. He has loved me for over thirty years and has never given up on us getting back together. So after dating off and on for five years, I said yes, to one of many of his proposals. And I'm so glad I did. After all my mistakes and all the wrong roads I took, God, in His infinite mercy and grace and love, blessed me with a wonderful man and a great marriage.

"And we know that all things work together FOR GOOD to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28 KJV).

Dream for the future

"Now you've got my feet on the life path, all radiant from the shining of your face. Ever since you took my hand, I'm on the right way" (Psalm 16: 11 The Message).

For twenty years I've dreamed of helping abused and homeless women and children. Here are some of the ideas I've written down for starting a shelter.

• Women and children only
• Residents may stay for up to two weeks without enrolling in any of the programs; however, each woman must attend daily counseling sessions during her short-term stay.
• Women who stay longer must attend counseling weekly to improve self- esteem and to learn the facts about abused women.
• If a woman decides to continue getting her life in order and not to return to her abusive husband, she must enroll in school, keep her apartment clean and take turns making the evening meals. Her classes will include stress management, hygiene, low-cost meal planning, credit counseling and budgets.
• If the woman plans to renew her marriage, counseling for her and her husband together is encouraged. This counseling will take place outside of the facility, and the husband is not allowed to know the facility's location.
• Childcare will be provided at no cost during school or work hours.
• Women must participate in the co-op program, teaching their skills to other women, babysitting, etc.
• The facility will have a clothing bank.
• The facility will have a large activity room with videotapes on exercise, cooking and educational topics.
• This will be a Christian-based operation where women will be encouraged to love, forgive and never give up.
• The facility will be located on a large private acreage of land and will consist of twenty duplex-style one and two bedroom units and a few dormitory style rooms for short-term stays.
• As long as a woman attends school and continues to improve her lifestyle, she may stay at the facility for up to one year.
• After her year's stay, we will help each woman with employment, resume writing, a deposit to help rent an apartment within a reasonable housing market and her first month's rent. After a one-year graduation, she will act as a counselor for three months for encouragement for the newcomers.
• I am sure some of these points will change as God gives me a more complete picture of what He wants. And even after the dream materializes and the facility opens, we will address new problems as they surface. I believe we learn as we go with any endeavor. This is my plan by faith, and I am waiting for direction from the Lord.

Fulfillment of a dream

My husband Addison and I are now pursuing a dream we share-we buy distressed properties, remodel them and then either sell them or keep them as a real estate investment.

We started in California. Addison bought a home in San Jose, California, for $100,000. He had owned it for nine years and was in the process of remodeling it when we got married. We lived in every room of the house during the remodeling. It took us two years to finish what Addison had started, and then we sold the house for $500,000.

We used the money from the sale to buy three fourplexes as investment property. I worked on our credit for several months, which helped us secure good low interest rates.

We recently moved to Oregon and continue pursuing the dream there. Our current project is a Victorian home built in the 1880's. This home is located in a historic community that attracts tourists. I have a plan to build a commercial kitchen and open it as a cafe/bakery and country store selling Oregon-produced products. This town does not have a bakery, so I am hoping ours will be well received.

I have written a business plan, financial plan, menu and cookbook. I have located several organizations that provide free help with business plans. One that helped me was the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE). Developing a good plan is so important.

" Then the LORD answered me and said: "Write the vision and make it plain . . . " (Habakkuk 2:2 NKJV).

This has been a big step for me. After the shattering experience I had with the first bakery-the financial problems, the divorce, and then after working so hard, leaving it all behind-I thought I'd never start another business. But I truly believe that God has opened this opportunity for Addison and me, and we are trusting Him each step of the way. I am confident that God works all things for His glory and that if we trust Him and walk in obedience, we may glorify God through any circumstance.

REFLECTIONS (Chapter 10)

Go to Chapter 11
Go back to the top of this page

Feel free to email me with any questions / comments at changinglives74@yahoo.com.au
by addressing your email to Kaylee.



© Copyright 17 May 2005
Taken from the web site www.changinglivesonline.org
This story is copyright and can not be reproduced without the author's permission.