SHELIA (life story)

DELIVERED FROM THE HURT OF ABUSE
AND THE SCARS OF SIN

Shelia had a tough childhood where she missed out on the love and security of a stable family home. She experienced rejection, abuse and confusion at the hands of those who were supposed to care for her. As the years unfolded, these hurts dragged her into the dark despair of prostitution and drug addiction. Believing she had lost everything, she accepted a meal from a man who shared a message of hope and power. Her life was transformed as she tells in her story of ...

God's Amazing Grace

Firstly, I'd like to give you some information on my childhood so you will be better able to understand some of the decisions I made in my life, however stupid they may have been. Nevertheless, every decision I have made during my lifetime, good or bad, is what has brought me to where I am now and I am very thankful for both the mountains and the valleys.

Born to a young mother

My mother was only fifteen years old when I was born. Today, after working through many things, I have come to a place of being able to forgive her. I am now able to look at her life through her eyes and better understand how she must have felt. In the midst of my struggle, someone gave me some good advice. I was told that maybe I could forgive easier if I tried to see her life through her eyes and not the eyes of a hurt child. You know what? It worked.

Raised by my grandmother

Now I realise that she was not mature enough to take care of herself much less a baby. She would hand me over to whoever was willing to take care of me at that particular time. Most of the time it was my grandmother. Several times throughout my life, she would decide that she wanted me back and she would come and uproot me again. I never really knew any stability and I always felt as if no one really loved me or wanted me. When I was nine, she came and took me away from my grandmother who was the only 'mother' I had ever really known. I was very attached to her.

Abused by my stepfather

My natural mother took me to join her new family in Illinois. She had remarried and she had two more children by her new husband. He hated me and the only reason I could figure out was simply that I was not his child. Now this was not my fault, although I did blame myself for many years. He started physically abusing me at first but, at the age of nine, he raped me and this abuse went on until I was thirteen. When I finally told my mother, she didn't believe me, actually no one believed me. Ultimately, I just let it drop and I buried all of those feelings of anger and hate for many years.

Out of control

I told my mother that I wanted to go back to Memphis to live with my grandmother and she consented just because she felt I was causing so much trouble and she did not want to be bothered. Now my grandmother had also remarried and I resented him for taking her away from me too. You must remember I was only a child and I felt like she was all I had and now I had lost her too. I was very hateful towards him and caused many problems. He was very kind and loving to me but I just could not accept what he was offering me. After a prolonged struggle, my grandmother went to the courts and told the judge that I was out of control and they just could not handle me any longer. I was placed in a foster home.

Alone, unloved, and unwanted in this great big world

The home I went to was wonderful, but at that time I could not see things clearly. The one person who should have loved me had now turned her back on me as well. I yearned for my grandmother and ran away. The courts then really called my bluff. I was placed in an all-girls reform school for three and a half years as a ward of the State of Tennessee. Looking back, I can honestly say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. However, at that time all I could see was that I was totally alone, unloved and unwanted in this great big world.

Drugs and prostitution - I had lost everything

Now I will jump ahead some. In 1987 I lost my own three children to their father and I totally lost it. I turned heavily to alcohol and eventually that turned into crack and cocaine. By this time I had lost everything including my dignity as I had turned to prostitution to support my drug habit. I was arrested several times on various charges, but I was never convicted and I never served any time. I know that God was taking care of me even back then in my sin. He saw what I would become one day with His help.

He asked me if I was hungry

The drugs and my roaming had taken me to many places but on December 20, 1990 I came across a man who told me about Jesus and how He could help me and make my life an example to others. He asked me if I was hungry. I had not eaten in a couple of days so he took me to a restaurant and bought me something to eat. During the meal he talked about Jesus Christ with me. He told me Jesus could and would set me free if I was willing. He explained how Jesus would give me a new life, without all the pain and turmoil I was living in. He said being a Christian didn't mean there'd be no more pain and difficulties but that Jesus can give us the strength to overcome even in the worst times. I began sharing my life story with this man and he still said Jesus is the answer. Right there I gave my heart to the Lord and I decided to live for Him and serve Him for the rest of my life. I give GOD all the PRAISE, HONOR AND GLORY for all that I am today and all that I will be.

It does not matter where you are

I had been singing for many years but I had destroyed my voice through drug abuse. I just abused the gifts that God had given me. So I prayed and told the Lord that if He would heal and restore my voice I would use this gift for His glory for the rest of my life. God has done exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think. The songs that I sing and those I have written are all His. I am only an instrument holding the pen. It does not matter where you are, Christ will come to you and meet you if you are willing to let Him become the centre of your life.

An incurable condition

I have experienced so many miracles in my Christian life. I am a walking miracle myself! One of these miracles really stands out to me and I would like to share this with you. About four or five years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable bowel condition. I had ulcers all through my body including many in my bowel. The doctors were not sure what it was but they wanted to do surgery and remove some of the bowel. My reply was that I wanted to get prayer for the problem and that I believed that God was going to heal me and I would not need the surgery at all. They went ahead and scheduled me for another scope the following week, just a few days after Christmas.

A walking miracle

On Christmas eve I phoned a minister friend and asked him to pray for me. He said he'd call me back in a few minutes. While waiting for him to call back, I got about ten bibles and placed them open on the floor in a circle and one open in the middle of the circle. When he called me back, I knelt on the bible in the middle as he prayed. The power of God hit me and went through me. I had such a peace come over me. I went over to my bed and fell asleep. God did something amazing for me as I lay there sleeping. When I awoke seventeen hours later the bleeding had stopped and so had the pain. I knew without a doubt that the precious hand of the Master had healed me. I was on about $400 worth of medicine a month and I went into the kitchen and threw it all in the trash. I returned for the scheduled scope and the doctors were amazed there were no ulcers anywhere. I just praised God for His healing power.

A life fulfilled

I am now married to a wonderful man and we are both in full time ministry. We know God has called us to ministry and we are enjoying serving the Lord together. I am a southern gospel singer/songwriter. I will travel anywhere I am invited to give my testimony or to sing or both. God is wonderful and it is to His glory that I am writing this. If one soul is reached then this is worth everything. Again, it is for the glory of God that I am here and that my life is what it is today.

No problem is too great for God