God is a God of miracles, as you will see in this story written by Richard's son-in-law. As Ralph says, "I can only tell you never to give up even until the very end because God will show up."
Rebellion … one for going against the grain
It was September 4th, 2006 and our family was about to celebrate my wife Donna's 37th birthday at our home in Allen, Texas. The attending usual suspects would include our three children, my father and his wife, and of course my father-in-law Richard (Dick) Starnes. It was a typical Sunday afternoon at our house but little did we know that shortly life as we knew it would be turned upside. Dick Starnes was a 61-year-old father of two and grandfather of six children. He was a professional car salesman of 40 years and for the whole sixty-one years of his life; Dick was one of the most rebellious human beings on the planet. His enthusiasm for going against the grain would be matched only by his rejection of religion and the rejection of 'religious fanatics' as he would call them.
God was working
These so-called religious fanatics included anyone trying to share the good news about Jesus Christ with him. The interesting thing was that Dick's final job would be filled with professing believers of Jesus Christ. But surprisingly, Dick would comment to my wife (his daughter); "This is the best place I have ever worked and they are all religious fanatics like you!" As I reflected back I could clearly remember the many times that my wife would pray for her father's salvation and she would tell me, "GOD will save my father, even if it is on his death bed!"
A medical problem
As we celebrated Donna's birthday we noticed that Dick had lost a considerable amount of weight. (Privately Donna had shown great concern for the health of her father.) Several days passed and Donna pressed her father about his health and finally he revealed that he had been very sick at night for months. Dick was not one who would openly discuss medical issues and he would avoid going to the doctor at any cost. It was time for Donna to assert herself as she insisted that her father go to the emergency room. He arrived at the hospital and was quickly admitted. It soon became obvious that Dick would need exploratory surgery to uncover what was causing his growing sickness.
Cancer … not long to live
At around 11 a.m. on Saturday September 9th I received a call from Donna. She was much shaken and I could barely understand what she was telling me. "My father has pancreatic cancer and he is not going to live very long!" My heart sunk to the floor because I could feel the sorrow of my wife and I knew that she would have to be the one to tell him the tragic news. The other variable that I had not considered was that the spiritual time clock was ticking and his soul was at stake. Donna did not forget and would continue to pray fervently for his salvation. Dick was released from the hospital on September 26th to go and spend his last days at home. He was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer and was given one week to ten days to live. During this time my wife would give of herself in the most unselfish way possible. She would stay and care for him day and night. There was no hospice; just her and her father and what would turn out to be the most rewarding time of her life and mine.
Just being there to show love
During these days, I would come and stay with Dick for six to eight hours while Donna would catch up on sleep, as she had been awake all night with her father. Dick would not fall asleep because of his fear of dying. As I reflected on what the bible said, I couldn't help but think about the utter turmoil of those who would die with no hope of salvation or eternal life. With this in mind I purposely shared the good news of salvation and eternal life with Dick. Dick would say, "When you die, you are just like a dog, you just die!" I remember distinctly feeling that Dick was so hard-hearted that he would never accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. So I stopped pressing him and chose to just love him unconditionally like his daughter was doing. Instead of trying to convince him of anything, I would just tell him that I loved him and I would show my love by being there for him.
Willing to do whatever it took
We shared many discussions in his last days and I would look forward to our newly found friendship and our interesting talks. My wife would continue to pray for him claiming the promises God gave her in regards to her father. At home I along with my children would pray diligently for his salvation. I remember my wife calling me one day and telling me that she prayed all night.
Time was winding down
It was a Saturday October 7, 2006 and I was working about 20 minutes from Dick's home. I really felt the Holy Spirit impress on me that I should leave that second. Without even locking up, I headed towards Dick's house and on arrival I walked into the family room where I saw Donna was quietly sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. Dick had lost a good portion of his hearing and he could not see very well either. Time was winding down and I knew it because of the calmness Donna displayed while she was sharing the gospel. I sat quietly and listened for 45 minutes.
Tears of joy
At one point Dick looked over at me and said, "Ralph, for the last 5 or 6 days I have been hearing voices and they have been telling me that if I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior, I am an idiot." I told Dick, "I know." Donna then told Dick in the sweetest most caring voice I had ever heard; "You don't have to hear those voices anymore dad. If you accept Jesus as your personal savior the voices will go away." Finally Dick said, "I am ready." Dick was so weak and was losing strength so fast that he asked Donna to make it simple for him to remember. Donna asked her father to repeat these words, "I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior." To my utter amazement Dick repeated the words. Donna and I began to weep tears of joy. A few moments later Dick asked Donna to get a piece of paper and said, "In your best hand writing, please write down those words." After she wrote the words, he asked her to put the paper in his wallet.
Dick's last words
There were only two other times I could hear Dick speak after that. One time when his Christian boss came over Dick asked him to sit down. He asked Donna if she would get his wallet and hand it to his boss. Dick asked his boss to pull the piece of paper out of his wallet and read it aloud. His boss read the paper and was astonished. He looked at his boss and whispered, "And it was my idea." His boss looked at him and said, "it sure was." The last time I could hear him talk I heard him ask Donna for the wallet. She knew that he wanted the paper and gave it to him. She also put his glasses on his head. As he gazed at the paper that was in his left hand you could see his right hand moving in a writing motion as if to say that he wanted to write the words himself.
The grace of God
As I reflect back on this last final month with Dick I see what an awesome God we serve! I remember what was spoken when both a criminal and Jesus hung on crosses waiting for death to come.
"Then he (the criminal) said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise" (Gospel of Luke 23:42-43, words in italics added).
I can only tell you never to give up even until the very end because God will show up! I made the mistake of thinking that it was over. Fortunately, I serve a most powerful and loving God who came and convinced me I was wrong.
