ONLINE BOOK

REFLECTIONS FROM IGNITED BY TRUTH
AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY BY KAYLEE TUCKER
(with Karen Burkett)

Kaylee speaks from the heart as she tells of the pain of sexual abuse, domestic violence and depression and how she found joy, hope, peace and forgiveness through the darkness.

"You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who Belong to the Lord" (Colossians 3:18).

In looking back at all the problems in preparing to open the first bakery, I realize that I ran ahead of my husband and did not allow God to work through him to help me with my plans. We both needed to be in agreement and know that we were in the center of God's plan before proceeding.

"Destruction is certain for my rebellious children," says the LORD. "You make plans that are contrary to my will. You weave a web of plans that are not from my Spirit, thus piling up your sins (Isaiah 30:1,2).

Before proceeding with any business venture, or anything else for that matter, it is so very important for us to be sure we are in God's will. Pray until you have total peace and direction. Pray until you and your spouse are in agreement. If those things don't happen, stop! Your plan may not be God's plan for your life. (And His plan is always the best plan!) Or maybe you are just rushing things. Maybe this is something He wants you to do-but not yet.

So many times in the past, I went ahead of the Lord, thinking I was working for Him and doing His will-only to realize later that my eagerness to carry out my plan had drowned out what the Lord was really telling me.

"I encourage you to ask yourself if you are doing this for the Lord, or for your own gratification? Are you being led by His Spirit or by your fleshly desires? The Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth" (John 14:17).

"Or what king would ever dream of going to war without first sitting down with his counselors and discussing whether his army of ten thousand is strong enough to defeat the twenty thousand soldiers who are marching against him?" (Luke 14:31).

Realistically evaluate whether your "army" of talents and gifts and finances are enough. Know that God loves you and has given you special gifts and talents. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal truths about who you are in Christ. Will you be able to use those gifts to His glory in this venture?

As you begin to write down your plans, be realistic with your goals and dreams. Do not be an overachiever-that will only stress you and everyone around you. Fulfilling a dream is meant to be enjoyed. As with so many lessons, I learned this one the hard way. God blessed me with many talents, but for a very long time I was not able to focus on what He desired of me. I was working at the post office every Saturday, working during the week with my cleaning business, and working at home with recipes for the bakery. And as we began preparations for opening the bakery, I was busy day and night. I didn't have time for my husband or children. And, even worse, I didn't have time for the Lord. The Bible says to always put Him first (Matthew 6:33). By the time my first bakery was up and running, I wanted to run away. It was anything but fun. It turned into a nightmare. Because I did not have my priorities in order and did not wait on the Lord, I failed in my marriage, family and business.

When Christ puts a desire in your heart, it is well balanced and realistic and you can check yourself by the written Word. I thought all the hard work was making me a productive person for Christ. Later, after much prayer, I realized how wrong I had been.

" In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God" (Ephesians 6:16,17 NIV).

Get ready! You've done your homework, you know you're in the will of God and you forge on ahead. You can fully expect an attack from Satan. He does not want you to succeed in your walk with the Lord, your family, friends or business. He is the author of lies and wants to steal your joy and destroy your peace. Do not give in or up. Keep the faith, and whatever you do, do it with love. Speak the Word of God, as Satan cannot stand against it. The only giving up we should do is giving up control to God.

Attacks sometimes come in the form of family members, friends and even strangers. "No way," they might say. "That is impossible." "You can't do that." "That's a dumb idea." When you confront this kind of opposition, turn your eyes upon Jesus, and trust Him with all your heart.

" Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5,6).

" Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4 NIV).

Part of putting the past behind involves forgiving ourselves and moving on. When we repent to Him, Jesus forgets our sins and remembers them no more. He will never bring them up to us again-we do that to ourselves. And we allow Satan, the deceiver, to harass and condemn us for acts that have been forgiven.

Are you condemning yourself for past sins, sins that have been forgiven? If so, you are missing out on the peace and joy that are yours in Jesus. When I was still hanging on to the past and suffering from self-contempt, a counselor told me to do this as a step toward healing: "Picture yourself as a child sitting alone and crying. Would you love this child? Then picture yourself holding this child and telling her that everything will be all right." This was a real turning point in my life. Your Father God loves you and wants to embrace you. He has forgiven you and wants to bless you. I encourage you to let go of the past and move on to become all He has designed you to be.

Meditating on these scriptures can help you. Get the truth of God's Word deep in your soul. His Word will give you hope and assurance.

"He has removed our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west" (Psalms 103:12 TLB).

" And I will be merciful to them in their wrongdoings, and I will remember their sins no more" (Hebrews 8:12 TLB).

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven" (Philippians 3:13,14).

The other side of forgiveness is forgiving those who have wronged you, just as Christ forgave you. As you step out in faith, desiring to do this, Jesus will be by your side. He will fill your heart with love after the pain has been spilled over in forgiveness. I know . . . because this is what He did for me.

"Don't let the enemy convince you that it's impossible to forgive. With Jesus, all things are possible" (Philippians 4:13).

Satan wants you to continue to hate and walk in unforgiveness and bitterness because He knows that these things can destroy you. Jesus wants you to forgive because He knows that with forgiveness come life and love and peace.

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:31,32).

" And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins" (Mark 11:25 NIV).

" Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, "I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it," says the Lord. Instead, do what the Scriptures say: "If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you" (Romans 12:19,20).

"As you receive Christ's forgiveness, forgive yourself and forgive others, the fruit of the Spirit can begin to flow freely in your life. But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will roduce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.

If we are living now by the Holy Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of our lives" (Galatians 5:22-25).

I love Jesus so much. He has been so good to me. All my praise goes to Him. The Lord drew me to Him and I want to preach Jesus and His love to you.

I want to plant seeds of hope to the hurting and lost, just as his disciples did. This is my ministry.

I cannot save a soul by the things I do or say, but I can share with everyone about God's unfailing love, a love I do not deserve.

"For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet now God in his gracious kindness declares us not guilty. He has done this through Christ Jesus, who has freed us by taking away our sins. For God sent Jesus to take the punishment for our sins and to satisfy God's anger against us" (Romans 3:23-25).

Do you realize that God loves us as much as He loves His own Son? The first time I heard these words, I cried. That could not be true, I thought. How could God love me with all my sin?

But it was true.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved" (John 3:16-17 KJV).

"Whosoever"--that's you and me. God loves His Son, you and me with the same intensity. Forgiveness-and everlasting life-is a free gift to all who will believe and receive Jesus as Lord of their life. Even if you've never received Christ, God loves you.

"We love him, because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19 KJV).

I had walked in sin for so long, and yet all He asked of me is that I confess my sins and receive His son Jesus into my heart and life. Now that's love! Real unconditional love.

And that's the way He loves you. He doesn't care about your past. He cares about now and the rest of your life. He cares about your eternity. He loves you and wants to help you.

At first I had difficulty believing that anyone-especially God-could love me that much. I had not known real love before, and I had suffered so much abuse in my early childhood and during my first marriage. I believed that no one cared about me. I thought I would have to be perfect for anyone to love me.

And then I learned that Jesus loved me and accepted me just the way I was. That He had died on the cross for MY sins. That I could be forgiven. All I had to do was ask.

My other problem was trusting someone who wanted to give me a gift. You see, people who are abusers will seduce you with gifts and kindness with only one intention-to get something from you. It took me time to accept the fact that God's love is truly unconditional. And that the gift of forgiveness and eternal life is really free.

It took me almost a year of listening and pondering to accept this wonderful gift of salvation. I learned that salvation does not come by joining a church, following a certain religion, doing good deeds or living a good moral life-no matter how admirable these things may seem to be. The Bible tells us there is only one way to receive salvation. You must be born again by accepting Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior

"Jesus replied, 'I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God'" (John 3:3).

After listening to stories about other people who fell in love with Jesus and hearing their testimonies of Christ's love, I finally said yes to the truth. I have been a born again Christian for twenty-three years, and the Lord has shown me His wonderful love every single day. I hope that you, too, will receive His wonderful gift of love.

"But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's special favor that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ, and we are seated with him in the heavenly realms - all because we are one with Christ Jesus. And so God can always point to us as examples of the incredible wealth of his favor and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us through Christ Jesus. God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:4-10).