The muddy water in Rachel's life was replaced with clean, clear water after she called out to God in desperation …
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Unhappiness … being bullied
I had been going to Sunday school from the age of four. I moved to Pengam near Caerphilly, South Wales when I was six years old and when I was eight years old I asked the Lord into my heart. I was bullied at school as a child and I was not very happy. At the age of fifteen I stopped going to Sunday school. I don't know why, perhaps it was because I was a teenager.
I thought that I knew everything about life but boy, was I wrong. I left school at the age of sixteen and had a few good jobs. I felt I didn't fit in wherever I was working. The bullying never seemed to go away. When I was twenty-one I wanted to end my life. I'd had enough, I felt so worthless. I couldn't see a way out.
He had already suffered for me
I planned all the details my death but at the final moment I said, 'O God' and it was then that I realized I could speak to God. Then I literally felt His hand on my head and knew His presence at my side. He told me I didn't need to do commit suicide as His Son had already gone through all the hurt and pain for me. I thought my life has been very difficult but I realized God had given me life and I know that I was on earth for a reason and that I had a future.
When I was twenty-five I began attending a church again. It made me realize that God has always been there for me, but I still felt guilty and ashamed about wanting to end my life. I had a problem with communion because of this so I asked God for His forgiveness. Now I have so much to thank Him for, because God has taken all the rubbish out of me and poured all His goodness into me. Imagine a glass jug, which is full of mud where the mud symbolises being scared of life and afraid of people. But now the mud has been lifted out and clean water has been poured in and this clean water represents how great it is to be alive and to greet and be among people. The new content in the jug … this clear water … is what my life is now.
What a beautiful feeling!
Now I know I am wanted and precious and loved by God and what better desire and gift could anyone want? It is great to be alive and to know Him every day and forever … to know the love of God and the work that He can do, and the work that He has already done. To love Him, praise Him and worship Him … to know He is with me at all times … that He will never let me down and He will never leave me is a beautiful feeling. God has shown me that His light shines in me.
