WALK BY FAITH NOT BY SIGHT ( Pornography ... sexual addiction .... there is another way!)
Nolen chasing the things that he thought would make him happy. He was chasing the things the world around him was telling him to pursue … sex … success … money. Nolen was hit by a car while drunkenly running across the street to get the attention of a prostitute. God needed to strip these things away before Nolen could see where his real treasure lay …
A miracle before I was born
I should have known that there was a greater purpose for my life. When I was still but a whisper of life in my mother's womb, my biological father tried to kill us both by shooting my mother! By some miracle, we both survived. And the life I am here to tell you about was allowed to begin … my life.
Joy, pride and ego as a successful athlete
After this rough start, I had a pretty normal childhood for someone growing up in America during the seventies and eighties. My mother and the man she married (who I consider to be my father in every way) stayed together long after they had given up on their own relationship. They stayed together for my sisters and me. So, although it was a rather dysfunctional situation, we children were cared for and brought up well. I found my real niche in life through school athletics. Having many victories in track and field and football gave me an identity that was consistent with every American boys idea of success. It also gave me the considerable ego and pride that naturally comes from being admired as an athlete in this society. To maintain the joy of being involved in sport, I continued as a football coach after my school years were over. This fed my competitive spirit and love for the game. Football was a big focal point of my life from which I derived a great deal of satisfaction.
The world can tell you lies
(Sexual addiction and pornography)
After some years in the military, drinking alcohol became a much sought after diversion. I drank a lot, even after it landed me in jail. I liked to drink and party and do all the things that young men are led to believe is perfectly normal behavior. I was also a womanizer. My sexual addiction led me into many situations I should not have been in. But, like many other 'red-blooded' Americans, I thought the more sex I was having, the better a man I was. What a destructive lie we allow this society to drill into our heads. Well, as addictions go, I always looked for more. I became addicted to pornography and embraced the philosophies regarding sexual behavior that pornography promotes.
I thought I was on the top of my game …
I thought I was on top of my game. I was 35, in good physical condition, had a smooth little sports car, my own crib, a good job, a woman I loved (my fiancée), and still the freedom to do whatever I wanted. One night I exercised that right to do whatever I wanted. I lied to my woman about my plans and went out to party to entertain my deviate desires. The decision I took that night would, unbeknownst to me, shape the rest of my life.
Struck by a car
I woke up a week later, unaware of who I was or where I was. I couldn't speak, I couldn't eat, and I had tubes coming out of my body everywhere I looked. I had just woken up from a coma that I was not supposed to have been able to wake up from. Evidently, on my 'exciting' night out on the town, I had been hit by an automobile while drunkenly running across the street to get the attention of a prostitute. The car hit me, instantly breaking my leg, forcing the bones to protrude through the skin in two places. Following the impact, the force threw my body up and my head went through the windshield of the car. I was then thrown back to the road, where my shoulder was dislocated and the skin was scraped off of various parts of my body. It was after three o'clock in the morning. Gratefully, the driver of the car was able to call for help and I was air lifted to the hospital.
The question of control …
My fiancée stuck by me through all of this and described my recovery, which I have very little recollection of. Suffice it to say that I had to learn everything over again, from the most basic functions. I was in the hospital for almost two months. I had to learn how to eat, use the bathroom, talk, think clearly, and later on how to walk again. After I came home to my fiancée's apartment, life was hard. I was happy to be home with her, but I hated the limitations I now had as a human being. She had to lift me in and out of my wheelchair, drive me to work, do all the cooking and cleaning that I was unable to help with. It was so frustrating as a man who was so used to being 'the man', in control of everything. I was brought to a place where I realized that I had no control, and I realized that I never really had control. That was another of life's illusions.
A sign from God
I struggled to come to terms with what had happened … I struggled with my identity as the temporary façade of my former identity had been taken from me in a fraction of a second. I fought off thoughts of suicide, wanting to live for my children's sake as well as my fiancée's. I thought about the things my fiancée had told me, how she had received emails from all over the world, parts of Africa and the Middle East, from people who were praying for me while I was in a coma, complete strangers…praying for me! I thought about the rainbow that she had seen that first day as she drove across the bridge towards the hospital. She said it was the biggest, boldest rainbow she had ever seen. It stretched from ground to ground over the entire city of Tampa, the hospital being at the center point of the rainbow. She had cried when she saw it, not because she was sad, but because she knew that it was her sign from God that He was going to hold me in His arms and everything would be okay.
Giving God control of your life
I talked to God often, yelled at Him sometimes, told Him all my frustrations, and asked Him to help me know what it all meant. One morning I woke up and miraculously all the answers were there. I just knew. God had completely emptied me of all the clutter that I had accumulated in my life, He stripped it all away … the house, the car, the perfect health, the ego, the deviate lifestyle, the addictions…all my earthly crutches. He took me back to my real self, the essence of who I really was on the inside…and then He filled up the emptiness of my heart with all the Love that He could give me. I felt such indescribable joy, such peace … such a clear sense of purpose. And I have been singing His praises ever since.
A question of obedience … running the race
I knew that my purpose was to talk to others about God and His Son, Jesus; and to share with others how I've come to learn that we are victims of a huge deception, and that the truth is available to all of us. Whether working through prison ministry or walking down whatever path God chooses to lead me, I will follow and share with as many as I can the amazing truth of the Gospel. An athlete at heart, I am still running a race … the race I now run is one that Jesus lays out for me.
A question of faith and loving God
Although I am still left with a handicapped arm, the rest of my body has been healed: and I have faith that when I am ready, the arm will be healed as well. According to the values of the world, I may have lost a lot but I received so much more than I ever thought possible. And I've never been happier in my life. I am a living testimony to the Love of our Creator. I have been told that when I was quite small, walking down the street with my family, a man of God stopped to tell me that I was going to be a preacher someday. "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord." I took a few dead end roads along the way, but my Father led me home.
Where you go when you die?
Would you like to change your life? Would you like to know without a doubt that when you leave this world you will spend eternity with God? The solution is to give the complete control of our life to Jesus and turn your back on your sin.
Here is a prayer you may like to say …
"Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sin. I repent of it and I turn to you by faith right now. I thank you for dying on the cross for me and paying the price for all of my sins. I ask you to come into my life right now and be my saviour, my Lord and my friend. Fill me with your holy spirit. Amen!"
