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KIM |
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KIM |
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Making a promise to God at an early age had a powerful impact on Kim's life. But it was not until Boarding School that Kim reached for a Bible and came to realise that God would always be with her and it was there that she experienced the ability to forgive others.
One night when I was lying in bed, I had a thought. I wanted to share my story of how God has had an impact on my life and how he has helped me to be a better person.
When I was young, every Sunday morning without fail, my mum would conscientiously drive my two brothers and I into a church in a very small country town where we would attend Sunday school. When I first began Sunday school, I suppose we would have had about a maximum of ten children regularly attending. Over the years, this number decreased, and often, there would only be four or five of us. But, despite this decrease in interest, our Sunday school teacher continued to bring different and interesting ideas into our short morning sessions.
One activity we did, and I guess I was about seven or eight years old at the time, involved a cut out cardboard star. Written on one side was God's promise, which said "I will be with you always" and on the other side, we had to write our promise to God. I remember thinking about it for ages and looking around at some of the others, which said things like - "I promise to be good and help Mummy" and "I promise I will never hit my little brother again" and the list went on. So, after much thought, I wrote "I promise to love God forever." At the time, I don't really think I understood what I was writing or what it really meant, but every holiday when I go home, I would see that cardboard star pinned on our notice board and try to reflect on whether I have kept my promise.
When I was fifteen, I went away to Boarding School in a much larger town and I must say that in the beginning I was very nervous and very scared. I'd been at a very small school for eleven years and I'd never known anything different. I had my group of friends - even though there wasn't that many to choose from, I had my dog, my own bedroom and my family. The idea of having only a curtain to separate you from the rest of the girls wasn't exactly my idea of perfect living. My Dad dropped me off and helped me unpack on that day and as I waved him goodbye, my eyes were filled with tears. I slowly walked back inside and closed the curtain of my tiny cubical. Well, I think I must have gone through almost a whole box of tissues because I didn't stop crying for about two weeks on and off.
One night after completing an excessive amount of homework I reached for the Bible in the bookshelf above my head. (Well, it seemed excessive because I'd never had to sit down for three hours ever before just to get through my Maths and Biology homework!) We'd always had a Bible in the house, but it wasn't something that you would pick up and read just for the sake of reading it. I didn't know where to look for words that would have an impact on me, and the only thing I really knew was that John's Gospel came after Matthew, Mark and Luke. If you've ever browsed a Bible, you'll notice that in the front, there is sometimes a section called "Where to look if you are feeling worried".
Not knowing how to look up the chapters, I used the page numbers for easier reference and this is the passage that I read.
"So do not start worrying. "Where will my food come from? (These are the things the pagans are always concerned about.) Your Father in heaven knows that you need all these things. Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things. So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings" (Matthew 6:31-34).
I think that this was the turning point in my life where I realised that God was someone who would be there for me always. I prayed that God would help me to make friends and to enjoy my new school and he did. I started going to Wednesday morning communion services, even though I didn't receive the sacrament. I wanted to understand more about God and how he could help me. The first time I took communion was therefore quite special for me as it symbolised that I wanted to live by God's word for the rest of my life. He has helped me in so many ways, and without his love, I don't think I'd be the person I am today.
I have learnt to forgive people for their wrong doings and that's probably one of the most important things that I have ever learnt. Without that ability to forgive, I can't help thinking what a bitter and selfish person I would be. People have done things to me that hurt me deeply at the time and even though I may not forget them, I have forgiven them and moved on. So, even in times when I felt my friends had turned against me, I knew that God would always be there for me and I would have his friendship. And that means so much to me - to know that there will always be someone to listen to me and answer my prayers. I loved my two years at boarding school and I want to thank all those who have helped me in anyway. I would just like to end off with a story that has been a favourite of mine for quite some time and it's called 'Footprints'.
