Being a philosophy major, Kevin thought
he knew about life, religion and beliefs. But as Kevin
says, his life was all about him and what he wanted.
His life was one controlled by drugs, alcohol and
cigarettes and was driven by money. All this left a
void that only could be filled by understanding the
"good news" that Jesus died for his sins so he could
have eternal life. Changes began when he first heard a
pastor and his "sidekick" speak of Jesus in a way he
had never come across in dead religious rituals.
My life was all about me ... me ... me
I was 25 years old, feeling like I was 50. I had
built from the ground up my "empire" and watched as it
crumbled more times than I prefer to discuss. I
was a drug addict. I drank and smoked cigarettes. I
was always trying to satisfy myself. I was driven by
money. I was angry. I was a procrastinator who made empty
promises that I couldn't begin to fulfil ... nor did I
intend to. You see I was all about me and how
I could achieve self-gratification. I want ... I want
... I want! I was also depressed. I made sure
that I had all that I wanted ... all that my heart
desired. Everything. BUT I was still lonely and
unsatisfied and to put it bluntly, I was COMPLETELY
and UTTERLY EMPTY!
Trying to fill the void
I had a beautiful companion, an amazing daughter, two
jobs, a place to live, a car, money ... everything
that I thought I needed I had. But I felt that I wanted more.
But what was it? Why did I feel so empty that I had
to try any means I could to escape? Why did I still
feel empty inside? Why was there still a void in my
life?
Something got my attention ... cigarette and beer in hand!
About two years ago, my wife (girlfriend at the time)
and I attended the 25th anniversary of her aunt and
uncle's marriage at which they renewed their vows. It
was a wonderful ceremony with about twenty plus family
members and friends attending. The ceremony was
brief. After the pastor had finished talking about the
couple and their struggles, triumphs and tribulations,
he began discussing the freedom that God gives as a
gift that brings a peace that surpasses all
understanding. Well ... I will tell you what! I was
listening now, with my cigarette and beer in my hand!
A ticket to Heaven?
The pastor described the plan that God had for us in
which heaven could be your home. He was talking about
a "plan of salvation". After his oration was complete,
a younger man, in his early twenties started reading
straight from the Bible and reinvesting in the topic
that the earlier speaker had discussed ... Jesus and
his sacrifice for my salvation ... my "ticket into
heaven". He discussed what a fulfilling life he had
by serving the Lord Jesus Christ.
Being a philosophy major I had to speak up!
Being a philosophy major and having read about almost
every religion and belief, I had several topics of
discussion that needed to be brought to these
individuals attention! I spoke with the two on
different occasions that day and the truth of it was
that after all I had read in college and after all the
rituals I learned through 'religion', I was truly
dumbfounded at what these two were proposing to me.
This was to actually read the Bible for face value and
follow what was written which was to 'serve God'. With
such fervor and splendor did they speak of Jesus that
they really got to me that day.
My problems got much worse
They invited me to their church and asked that we
listen to what God had to say. Unfortunately, I did
not heed there calling and instead promised my
girlfriend that I would work out all of these
problems. I said that we would be able to get through
the problems but sure enough they got worse ...
MUCH WORSE.
A year went by with many problems and tribulations.
These problems were emotional, physical, mental,
spiritual and most of all relationship-wise. We were
headed for sure failure. I wasn't strong enough to
get rid of my addictions and my girlfriend wasn't
strong enough to endure them. She left with my child
and that put me right on the edge. It wasn't until
days later that I really fell off the cliff. I had a feud with the
owner of my company and we parted separate ways.
Summary of my life so far ...
So there I was in a home that was established for a
family, yet no family was there.
There I was without the job that had been
supporting that family.
There I was with the body / vessel / temple that
God gave me, yet I didn't let Him in.
Starting to straighten myself out
I straightened myself out ... and my girlfriend came
back. I got a temporary job until things could pick
up again. New tenants moved in next-door, which
included a man, a woman and her son. He was a young
man at was going to school and he was ex-military like me.
We sat around discussing
everything.
Trying to solve the mysteries of life ... again!
Again there I was with a beer in my hand, cigarette in
my mouth and high from the drugs I had just taken
while I was discussing my philosophy / my take on this
thing called "life", when he mentioned that he is
attending a seminary college. He discussed the need
for God in his life and he even went as far as to
invite myself along with my family to his church that
Sunday. I thought to myself; "I have spoken with
someone else with a passion and fire to serve God
with all their might." "When was it?" I thought to
myself as he continued to discuss serving God and
following the doctrines of the Bible. "Who was it that
advised that their church wasn't about rituals or
ideas that weren't in the Bible nor ordained by God"?
Then it hit me! It was that pastor and his sidekick!
Remember the two Jesus Freaks?
So, casually I mentioned the time I met the two
"Jesus-freaks" and that the younger one
was my girlfriend's second cousin whose name was
Steven. At this name, my neighbor's ears pricked up
and he asked "Steven who?" I simply replied with his
full name. Well ... my neighbor starting jumping up and
down like a "nut", screaming "That's my church!" He
advised me he had been praying that he could have an
impact for God and help spread the joy that God had
given him. He told me that there was no such thing as
an accident and that it was a divine intervention that
he had moved here and that we had had this
conversation.
I had been searching for Jesus and salvation my whole life!
Well, he was so adamant I had to at least check it
out. I bought a Bible and started to try to read it
before that Sunday. My family and I attended church
that Sunday. I heard the message of the Gospel in
which Jesus had suffered and died for my sins and by
believing in Him I would be given eternal life. I heard and
understood the word of God for the very first time ... and
what an amazing feeling that started to over-take me.
I knew right then and there that this was something I
needed in my life. The next day I called over to the
church and set up an appointment to have lunch with
the pastor to discuss this "plan of salvation" and he
gladly accepted and took me and another pastor out to
lunch. We discussed the gospel, Jesus Christ, and His
plan of salvation. I was so moved by the
conversation, that I didn't notice that the
restaurant, in the middle of the lunch-rush was
completely empty except for our party of three and the
staff.
Jesus is my Saviour and Lord
I will have you know that I accepted Jesus Christ as
my Saviour and Sovereign Lord that day. I have since
grown to be drug, cigarette and alcohol free. I have
had lapses on almost everything in the beginning. But the
more I studied the Bible, attended the services, met
with the pastoral staff and sought God throughout my
day, the more I had the strength to resist my
temptations. My strength has grown because of Him. I
am still tempted to this day, but such is the way of
the world. I may live in the world, but the world no
longer has control of me. For I have a peace that
surpasses all understanding, a home in heaven, a
family of God on earth, power to resist my addictions,
and forgiveness for my sins.
Filling the void that had existed for so long
I am now 27 years old. I have an incredible wife; my
daughter is completely awe-some, and the Lord has
blessed our family with the addition of a healthy son,
a wonderful job, a happy family; a great fellowship
with our church, and a guaranteed home in heaven with
Him.
