JAMEY
(life story)

BREAKING THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Jamey's story shows that the cycle of domestic violence can be broken! She came to realize that God still loved her through the pain of domestic violence and many fragmented relationships. If you are suffering, let God's love overflow into your life and experience healing.

The pain of domestic violence

I grew up with domestic violence. My earliest childhood memories are of my parents fighting and how scared I always was. My father was an alcoholic who often became violent after hours of drinking. I spent many years living in fear that I would come home from school one day and find my mother dead. As a child, I spent many nights crying myself to sleep, afraid of what tomorrow would bring.

A fragmented family

My mother became depressed and emotionally detached from us. She couldn't be the mother we needed; we had to learn how to take care of ourselves. When I was 15 years old, my mother left one day without warning and never came back. She left us 4 kids with my dad, who became even more violent after she left. In a drunken rage, my dad kicked us older kids out of the house and we went to stay with some friends. I soon found my mom but she did not want us. I asked her to emancipate me at 16 because I could not go back to the life I had.

The cycle continues

However, I DID go back to the life of violence and abuse by having relationships with men who were like my father. The same kind of abuse I saw happening to my mom was now happening to me. I have failed marriages because of abuse. I spent many years feeling like I had no worth.

Feeling betrayal, rejection, guilt and shame

I felt betrayal, rejection, guilt and shame over what happened in my life. I had no self-esteem for years. I never knew peace and felt so abandoned and alone. I never really knew any stability in my life and always felt as if no one really loved me or wanted me. I was so accustomed to abuse being a part of my life that I lost any hope of ever being freed from it and I didn't know how to get freed from it. It all seemed hopeless for a long time.

Feeling that God would not accept me

The hardest thing to deal with was feeling like I had failed God. I never thought God would accept me after all I had been through and done and I felt so unworthy to even be in church. I tried to deal with it all on my own. It took a long time for me to realize that I needed Him and that I could not go on any longer the way I was. One day I cried out to the Lord with all my heart. I cried and cried until I had no tears left. God accepted me - Through the pain and abuse He was always there God picked me up right there, just as I was, all broken and bruised, and He accepted me into His loving arms. It was then that I committed my life to Him and I knew in that moment that I never wanted to be without Him again. I love Him with all my heart. All I want now is to follow Him and serve Him. How great is His love for us. Even when we have gone our own way God never stops loving us. When we come back to Him His arms are always open ready to embrace us. Through all the pain and abuse I wondered where God was. I finally came to realize He had been there all along. God had never left me; He was always there.

God was waiting for me to turn to Him

God had been waiting all that time with outstretched arms for me to turn to Him for the love and healing that I so desperately needed. Because I was so hurt and devastated over what happened in my life, I was not able to see that I could not start healing without Him. The Lord is greater than any pain I could ever endure. He brought healing into my heart that was so broken and scarred by the years of pain. For the first time in my life God had given me love, peace, and joy in my heart!

His love can transform your life

I have finally found what love and acceptance really feels like. God loves me ... He really loves me and I couldn't feel more loved. His love for me is enough. HIS LOVE HAS TRANSFORMED MY LIFE.

Looking to help others

I know God isn't finished with me yet! I know God is going to use what has happened to me to help reach others who are lost and hurting. I have felt very strongly about working to help abused women and children. I want them to know that Jesus is there for them, that He loves them so much. I want them to discover that, through Him, they can be set free too!

God is good

The Lord has blessed me with wonderful people whom He has brought into my life along the way. I feel like God is loving me through them. He has been so good to me! I give GOD all the praise, honor and glory ... for all that I am ... all that I will be ... for everything He has done for me. I praise Him for my new life in Him. He is everything to me.

Put your trust in God

Jesus says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1). The psalmist tells us "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea" (Psalm 46:1).

Overcoming trials and tragedies

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).

God has changed my life in so many ways. I was at one time an abandoned child, left alone in the world. I was at one time an abused wife living in fear everyday. Once I was a single parent, struggling to survive and raise my children alone. I was at one time a grieving parent, feeling the worst pain in my life. Once I was hopeless without a future to look forward to. I was burdened with the impact of all these things until I surrendered my life to Jesus and He came into my life.

I am now living a life free of abuse. I have remarried and have a wonderful Christian husband who loves the Lord. My children are growing up in a home free of abuse. God has provided everything I need. I am now living my life instead of just surviving it. I have been able to move forward in forgiveness towards those who have hurt me in the past. I have also had to forgive myself for the bad choices and mistakes I made in the past. I now have a peace over the death of my daughter. I have overcome hurt and pain in the past and I now have a future to look forward to. I could not have done any of this without God in my life. "It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect" (Psalm 18:32)

I still have struggles but ...

My journey has not been an easy one. I still have struggles in my life at times, but God has promised to be there with me. God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).

To every thing there is a season, And a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance ...
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-4).

There is hope in darkness, peace in suffering, joy in trials, if we are willing to take our journey with God.

God is our refuge and strength!
Jamey red line

POSTCRIPT

My son having a seizure

Two days after I finished writing the above story, I took my 6-year-old son to the doctors. Thinking he probably had a virus, they sent us home. That afternoon I was waiting to pick up my other kids from school when my son had a seizure in our car. I had no idea of what to do, and I started to panic. (My kids attend a school where there was no school nurse on staff.)

People willing to come to my aid

After I had sent my oldest son to get help, a woman who happened to be a nurse ran up to my vehicle and took care of my son until the ambulance arrived. Another woman came up to me and asked if she could pray for my son and I said, "Yes"; so she prayed for him. Then another woman who also happened to be a nurse came and helped. These women were at the school picking up their kids too. I was so grateful that these women where willing to come forward to help. My son was admitted to a pediatric intensive care unit due to a serious illness, which was causing seizures. My son's health is now going well but this was an extremely hard time for me having already lost my oldest child almost two years before in a house fire. I am so thankful that God responded to my cries for help and sent the three women to help me during my son's seizure.

Angry or bitter at God and other Christians?

"Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"

However, I felt that some of the Christians around me let me down during this time. So much was happening; God taught me a lot through these hard times. We must pray for one another, take encouragement from others and continue to meet with other Christians but our ultimate joy must come from trusting and knowing God who will never let us down. Let's be honest. None of us are 100% reliable! All of us are capable of letting others down and I have learnt that "the joy of the Lord is my strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). When others have let you down, forgive them and rest in God's love and faithfulness. Don't get bitter at God or other Christians, as your bitterness will never help you. The bible gives us very good advice when it says, "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26,27). Never isolate yourself from others. In times of hardship you need support (and God) more than ever!

God shapes and refines us through trials and sufferings

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance" (James 1:2).

"All kinds of trials have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold ... may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:6,7).

God is helping me through each of the struggles in my life and He is shaping my character in His image in the process. God has done so many beautiful things and I look forward to more beautiful things ahead. If you go through some dark moments in your life please remember that God is there with you. Even if you don't understand all that is happening to you, keep trusting in the Lord to see you through. People may abandon us, hurt us, reject us, betray us, but God never will. Draw on God 's strength and forgiveness and move on to the exciting things God has in store for you.

Be patient and look to God for your strength,
Jamey red line

PRAYER AND MIRACLES
Walking with no pain after breaking my back

When I was 18 years old, I fell from a second story balcony and broke my back. I was given a 10% chance to ever walk again. I had almost severed my spinal cord. I had intensive surgery on my back and they placed two rods in my back and wired my spinal cord to them. It took months before I was able to walk again. And learning how to walk again was very difficult.

My grandmother started a prayer chain for me at her church after I had my injury and they continually prayed for my recovery and that I would be able to walk again. God worked a miracle in my life through their prayers and I recovered and was able to walk again. Prayer is powerful!

I recovered from an injury that no one thought was possible. I will always have those rods in my back, and walk with a slight limp. The most amazing thing about it all is that I have no pain from my injury. I have not suffered in that way. Many people can't understand why I have no pain from that injury. I am very thankful to God that I recovered and I haven't had to suffer from pain. God is good! red line

MY JOURNEY THROUGH GRIEF
Losing a child in a house fire

My life forever changed one cold December morning when I got a phone call that no parent wants to get. I was told that there had been a house fire in the early morning hours, and that my 16 year old daughter never made it out of the house. This happened at her dad's home. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't want to believe it. I felt as if my whole world came to a sudden halt that day. I was in shock. It took days before I could grasp the reality that my daughter was gone and that I would never see her again. So many thoughts flooded my mind. The things left unsaid, the "if only's", and "why my daughter". I felt like I was on an emotional rollorcoaster that was never going to stop. The pain was overwhelming. My daughter was really gone and I had to go on this journey without her.

I knew I couldn't deal with this in my own strength. I needed God more than ever. I needed His comfort and strength to get me through this darkest time of my life. And He gave me the comfort and strength I needed to move on. And He gave me peace in the midst of my sorrow. It has been almost three years since that tragic day. I have come a long ways in my journey through grief. I still have my ups and downs. I don't know if we ever really stop grieving, I think we just learn how to live with it. I still have a long way to go on this journey, but I don't have to go through it alone, God will be there with me through it all.

I try not to dwell on what I have lost, but to be thankful for the time we had. God can use all that we have endured to reach out to others with hope and encouragement, so that we may never have to walk this journey alone.

There is no wound that God cannot heal, no pain to great that He cannot comfort, no sorrow to deep, that He cannot understand.

God is our refuge!
Jamey

RAISING A CHILD WITH AUTISM

I first suspected that something was wrong when my daughter didn't seem to be progressing like other toddlers. She seemed uninterested in toys, was only repeating words that she had just heard and at times she was very hyperactive. I was not sure what was going on with her, but I knew something was wrong.

The local school district evaluated my daughter and at the age of three entered her in a program for developmentally delayed children. The therapists were unsure exactly what was wrong at the time. It would take many evaluations and ten years before we would get the exact diagnosis of Autism¹. The Lord gave me the strength to persevere and to be an advocate for my daughter so we could get the services that she needed. My daughter has progressed tremendously over the years.

Having a child with Autism has been a blessing and I have learned so much along the way. There is no situation in our lives that God cannot get us through if we are willing to seek Him and trust that He will give us the strength and guidance that we need. "For with God nothing shall be impossible" (Luke 1:37).

¹Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that manifests in early childhood (usually before the age of 3 or 4). There is no known single cause for Autism, and there is no cure. The earlier a child is diagnosed and treated, the better. Autism affects each individual differently and varies in degrees from mild to severe. Some of the characteristics an individual with Autism may display (in varying combinations and degrees of severity) are in the areas of social interactions, verbal and nonverbal communication, and limited interests in activities or play.

Some of the characteristics that may be present are listed below.

*a delay in, or lack of, learning to talk
*Echoes words or phrases
*Difficulty in expressing needs; may use gestures
*Problems with starting and continuing a conversation
*Failure to establish friendships with children the same age
*Lack of interest in sharing enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people
*People with autism may have difficulty understanding another person's feelings, such as pain or sorrow
*Preoccupation with certain topics
*Stereotyped behaviors. These include body rocking and hand flapping
*A need for sameness and routines
*Inappropriate laughing or giggling
*Apparent insensitivity to pain
*No real fear of dangers
*May avoid eye contact
*Inappropriate response or no response to sound
*Prefers to be alone; aloof manner
*Resists being held or cuddled
*Inappropriate attachments to objects.

Although Autism cannot be outgrown, with early intervention and treatment many children with Autism can and do improve in time.

Note: This information should not be used to assess whether a particular child has Autism. diagnosis should only be done by a specialist.

More information can be found at the Autism Society of Amerca red line >>>>> READ SOME OF MY POEMS

Feel free to email me directly with any questions or comments at changinglives74@yahoo.com.au
Please address your email to Jamey.

>>> Breaking the pattern of physical and verbal abuse
from 'Focus on the Family'

Read more life changing stories	Articles	Stories	Poems	Books	Other
Freedom a selfish life and depression	Victory on the Battlefield	You Took My Place	Battle Lines	From Gutter to Glory	Encouraging Words
I saw Jesus	14 Good Reasons to Read the Bible	One Solitary Life	The Hug	What Makes the Difference	Music, poems and stories
Runaway Heart	Scientific Evidence Against Evolution	The Attorney	It's Christmas Again	Ignited by Truth	Famous Christians
Forgiveness is possible	Adventures in Prayer	The Bridge	The Price	Darkness to Light	Great Links
I am so happy! More stories	A New Life (What God has done for you)	The Room	Deliverance	The Gift of Transformation	Tell us your life story

JAMEY (life story)