GARY (life story)

RESTORING A SHATTERED LIFE

Gary was full of anger. His heart had been smashed to pieces. He couldn't give his heart fully to anyone. But his life was restored and all the pieces put back together when Gary found true love.

Moving … always moving

I was born in New South Wales in Australia. At the age of seven, my father who was a coal miner decided to pursue a career as a jockey so we moved overseas, mainly to Holland. My mother (who was a nurse) stayed at home while my father rode in England and Germany and other places. My life was not stable as we travelled around a lot. I changed schools eleven times in three different countries and with three different languages. Because we travelled all around the world, we developed into a very tight-knit trusting family in which we relied heavily on each other.

Making up my own prayers

I was raised up a Catholic but couldn't really make any sense of things. I didn't know God so I made up my own prayers that I prayed most of my life. I would pray them especially when I was in trouble as many people do. I was 17 when we moved back to Victoria and my father had a huge crash. We advised him to give being a jockey, as we didn't want to see him in a wheelchair. So my father bought into a feed store. I got a girlfriend, my older brother had a girlfriend and my younger brother was doing his apprenticeship and everything seemed to be going real fine.

I didn't know how to love anymore

Then the problems began. My father went broke losing everything we had earned and ran off with another woman. I found myself running the business at the age of 19. My girlfriend left because her family had just been through a break-up. My close-knit family with all its security disappeared. My comfort zone was gone. I had trusted my father so much but this trust had been shattered. I was going out seven nights a week getting drunk. This lasted for about three years … getting one woman this week … two or three women the next week. My family's love was gone and I was looking for love in my affairs and I was all hate and discontent.

I had no love in the heart … always doubt

During a long drinking binge I met a woman and we married but split up in two years, as there was just no love in my heart. A year after that I got married again but I didn't know what love was anymore. I couldn't give my heart to anyone completely as there was always doubt.

Disaster strikes

My second wife and I were married for six years and had three beautiful kids but everything starting going downhill. It felt like slow motion you can experience in a car accident. You steer this way and that way but you head for the tree and bang! My family split up and my wife ran away with my 'so-called' best mate. I was smoking a lot of dope as I grew it myself and had an endless supply.

The seed of murder in my mind

I had a lot of anger inside. I hated people. I hadn't forgiven people. I had a lot of fights in pubs. I thought I would go down and kill this bloke. This seed of murder was placed in my mind and I thought of a thousand different ways to kill him and a thousand different ways to dispose of the body. When I look back on it the only reason I didn't carry it out was I didn't have the fifty dollars to put petrol in the car. I was living in a shack and all my beautiful kids who I loved dearly had been stripped away from me. I found myself in a dribbling mess on the floor crying my eyes out. I looked to God and prayed, thinking "What is going on?" I was a wreck … I had nothing left. I went to Victoria to see if I could work something out. I wanted to take one of our children who was a problem. She said, "yes" as she just wanted me gone.

Living in a shed

A stranger shows her concern for me

I went to my sister's place and a woman visited us. My mother (who worked with this lady) told her about my problems and a few days later a daily devotion arrived. Inside the woman had written; "Gary, we haven't really met but God puts it on our hearts who He wants saved. Jesus is your healer." I just burst into tears. I thought; "God you are true." I had been praying and praying and praying. From that day on I was in the book everyday. I felt I could finally start to stand on my own two feet.

I had had enough!

I met up with Pete (a friend of mine). I could see there was something about Pete. He just looked happy and at peace. Pete asked me to come to church and I think he was surprised when I said "yes"! A couple of weeks later I went to church. I had my three children with me and when they opened the church doors it was like a big vacuum sucked me in! I had had enough … enough of the dope and the drinking … enough of the broken relationships with my wives. When I walked into that church, God had His hand on me and I accepted Jesus into my life and got baptised.

My heart had been smashed to prices

I was living in a shack, which was very cold, and I had picked up two blankets from the tip. When I settled down in bed to read my bible I felt an incredible warmth. At the time I thought it was the warmth from the blankets. In the morning it was like the shack was glowing. I had a big smile on my face and I was happy on the inside. I thought, "I'm in love." I had my arm outstretched and I expected to see the love of my life beside me. But I believe it was the Lord. This has to be God … here I am living in rotten conditions and my life had disintegrated around me and I felt like this! I had been devastated in my life … my heart had been smashed to pieces … I had been a wreck. I had never been able to put on a smiley happy face and think 'all is rosy'. So much peace came over me that morning and I had a smile on my face.

The way and the truth

I know that that Jesus is the truth, the light and the way. I can't do without Him anymore. He is just blessing me day after day. I don't worry anymore. I used to make a lot of money and even when I had a lot of money I had worried about it. Now I don't' worry about money or health. If I have troubles I just hand them over to the Lord.

God teaching my daughter the same prayers!

As a child the Holy Spirit was teaching me how to pray. God is not complicated. Jesus says we are to come to Him as a young child. I was a young child and Jesus had come to me and He didn't leave me. He was trying to call me but I wouldn't listen. My daughter came to me and said; "Dad I have made up some prayers. When she said them to me I just burst into tears, as they were the same prayers I had been taught as a child. God has had his hand on all our lives and even in the worst situations (when we think maybe God doesn't like me) God is there with us.

"God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147: 3).

"The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 43:17).

Jesus fulfilled the words of Isaiah who said the Messiah would "preach the good news to the poor … bind up the broken hearted … proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness the prisoners … (Isaiah 61:1).

God is good … amen!
Gary