After years of 'doing his own thing', Desmond finally discovered that he was not alone. He is on an exciting journey on which he expects miracles to happen.
Not expected to live
Hi! My name is Desmond and I am now 50 years old. I was born in Dublin, Ireland and lived there until I was three years old. My family then moved to Manchester, England. As a child I was very ill because when I was born I suffered from asthma. For the first few years of my life, I was not expected to live.
Joining the navy
My father was very strict religiously, and we were made to go to church on a Sunday. I was also made to go to confession on a Thursday night. I didn't believe I had done anything wrong at that age. Because I was ill I never went out much. My church was very much an adult church where children should be seen and not heard. My health did improve somewhat over the years, and when I left school, I went to a private college for the Merchant Navy. I spent several years in the Navy as a Radio Officer.
Life aboard ship
The officers on the ship were not religious and as my surname was O'Toole they realised the religious implications. They would question my beliefs, especially the part about how there could be a God if there was so much suffering in the world. After a while I started agreeing with them. I still believed there was a God but I became disillusioned with God and the way He did things. I regularly 'told him off' about it. Looking back on it I felt I should have been struck down by lightning. I was particularly annoyed with God when I saw people suffering in wheelchairs. In the Merchant Navy we would be at sea for up to two months and consequently us guys wouldn't see a woman for a long time. So I discovered lots of things about the opposite sex. We had our own bar on board which we ran ourselves and we enjoyed very cheap drinks. And had a kind of carefree life style.
Finally going back to church
When I left the Merchant Navy, I did not go back to church, even though my brother, who had emigrated from the UK to Australia when he was 20, kept telling me to. For the next 30 years or so I just went about 'doing my own thing'. I eventually found myself unemployed with very poor job prospects. After a few years, I made a decision that I should have another look at going back to church. I eventually plucked up the courage and went. I liked the church I went to so I stayed.
Going to chat with the vicar
One day, after I had been going to church for six months or more, the Vicar shook my hand on the way out and said to me "Desmond we have never really spoken before. I would love to have a chat." He made an appointment to see me the next night in his office. I remember walking home after church thinking to myself "What have I done wrong?" I have never had a Priest or Vicar wanting to see me. When I spoke to him he asked me if I knew many people in the Church, I said not many.
The Alpha Course
He told me that there was an Alpha course where I could meet people. I agreed thinking that the Alpha Course was a social club. When I went on the Alpha Course, which was for ten weeks, I found 'strange' things going on around me. At times people would be crying. I started to feel that I was no longing alone in my bedroom at night. After discussing this feeling in my Alpha Group, I realised what I already suspected. God was there and I started to talk to Him. Half way through the Alpha Course there is a Holy Spirit Day. God used this day to awaken me to the fact that He still does miracles today.
Speaking to God
I didn't pray in bed so much as talk. I asked God questions. I also asked God to help me, and for Him to help people close to me. On one occasion, God did do something remarkable to a friend of mine who suffered from bronchitis. I felt terrible about it so at night I prayed for him and guess what happened? I saw him the next day and he was okay.
Jesus, can I help out?
I am continually asking Jesus for help in day-to-day matters. There was one night when I was praying to God and I had a vision in my sleep of Jesus crucified and a voice saying, "Have you forgotten my Son"? That shook me up a bit. I now ask Jesus for help. I thank God for all the good things that have happened to myself and to people close to me. I pray at night, telling Jesus that He is my best friend. I ask Jesus if there is anything needed that He wants me to do; I would love to help out. I tend to take things to heart … not just my own problems but others as well. Sometimes I would find myself in bed at 4 a.m. after having one of my chats to God about a particular problem.
Helping an alcoholic
On one occasion there was a lad who was an alcoholic. I would (with the help of someone) carry him home at night. He was an orphan and never new his parents. That night I had a dream that I was looking through telephone directories and government documents. The next day I realised what this was and set about doing just that. Armed with all the paperwork, I was able to help the lad find his dad. He has since given up drinking, apart from the occasional few, and his life has turned around.
Miracles can happen
The church I used to attend was constantly being burgled, but thanks to God I knew who it was. I can see that I am on some sort of path, and I hope this will go further. One thing people should realise is that praying for someone is not just about speaking a few words. You have to be committed and have your heart in it. I believe that miracles can happen when we pray. If Peter can say "In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk" (Acts 3:8) and things happen so can we.
