 | DAVE |
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| DAVE |
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Do you feel trapped by forces that are beyond your control? Disillusioned by the world around him, Dave was unable to stop a 17-year addiction to shoplifting. His freedom came from a source he least expected. Dave has since paid back thousands of dollars to those he stole from.
Weeds are easy to pull out when they are small but small weeds are also easy to ignore. At the age of twelve, I was in a store with a friend when he stole a chocolate bar. I was shocked to witness this action and to see that someone would do such a thing. I knew that it was wrong yet my young friend seemed quite pleased with his deed. I'm not sure how I made the transition but within a year I was also stealing from stores. I was aware of the commandment "Do not steal" but I was persuaded by temptation. I had taken my first steps into a habit of stealing, an insidious problem I was to struggle with for nearly two decades.
Stealing became one of life's exciting challenges. As a juvenile I was caught on two occasions and had dealings with the police. In my mid-teens, I was ashamed and distressed when my parents were brought into the picture and I determined not to offend again. However it was not to be, despite my best intentions and after a few months of restraint, I continued in my old ways. That small weed had taken root and now had a strangle hold on my life. As I grew older I began to justify my actions by believing that the large retail companies were just ripping everyone off anyway. I became increasingly alienated against my society as its shortcomings and failures were the constant focus of media attention. I also became more proficient at stealing and increased the scope of my crimes.
It wasn't hard to look around and compare myself with other people thinking, "I'm not that bad really." I wanted to change but every now and then familiar thoughts would come into my mind to discourage any idea of reform; "Remember, there's no God and no judgement. Its okay, you won't have to give an account one day." And, "Even if there were a God, what hope would I have with my life in such a mess?" As a young man I liked to take the high moral ground in arguments and was critical of all the corruption and hypocrisy around me. At the same time, but more discreetly, I came to recognise that my own actions really were wrong and could not be justified rationally. I was faced with the growing realisation that my double life was a time bomb waiting to explode and blow me out of the water. There was much at stake and I knew it. In times of true introspection I saw all this clearly and longed to return to an honest life. I made resolutions and wrote them down to carry around with me. I searched for an answer, a way out, a strategy to set me free but it wasn't to be. Whenever I entered a store, a powerful mindset came over me and my resolutions quickly faded into the background. While I didn't understand the real nature of what was happening, I knew that I was grappling with a problem that was beyond my power to overcome. Although I became increasingly concerned and discouraged about this persistent failure in my life, I held on to an invisible thread of hope.
I was caught shoplifting in my early twenties and handed over to the police. It was during a time of real turmoil in my life as I was coming to terms with a relationship that was falling apart. This mitigating factor was used in my defence in court and, thankfully, no conviction was recorded. It was very hard facing my colleagues the day after the story came out in the newspaper. It was one of the toughest experiences of my life. You would think that would be a turning point and sufficient motivation for me to finally leave it all behind. I was scared and I desperately wanted to stop shoplifting. I tried but endured only for a few months before giving into a "just this once, one more time won't do any harm, then you can quit" deception. Little did I know, I still had over six years of struggle ahead of me. Looking back now I'm reminded of times when I've wanted to remove weeds from my garden but every now and then I'd come across one that would not budge despite me applying all the strength that I had. I've also noticed some intriguing parallels in my experiences with those of people who have battled drug and alcohol addictions.
On one occasion I had been playing cards at a friend's place. It was such a beautiful moonlit night that I chose to walk home and was questioned by police a short distance from my friend's house. They didn't bother to check my story but insisted on giving me a lift home. I hesitantly got into their car and they headed for home. En route they stopped on the deserted road saying they had to rendezvous with another unit. After several minutes another police car double-parked alongside ours and a large officer got out, opened my door and ordered me out of the car. As I stood on the footpath he pulled his revolver and held it to my face. Towering over me, he accused me of being a 'peeping tom' who had been spying on his wife late at night. I maintained my innocence, albeit rather feebly in the face of his intimidation and verbal threats, along with the gun in my face. This experience fuelled my feelings of alienation.
Several years later my situation wasn't looking any better. I was beginning to wonder if this was a problem that I might have to live with for the rest of my life. This was not an appealing prospect but there was no solution in sight. I was rebellious and had scant respect for the law. I had discovered marijuana and was making cautious use of this illegal but seemingly okay diversion from the harsh reality of life. Over time I became more dependent on the drug and experienced a few episodes where its effects were a cause for serious concern. I came to realise that this drug was not a harmless diversion but I continued to use it anyway, ignoring the warning signs.
One day an unusual thing happened to me. I was washing my face in the mirror and found myself looking deep into my own eyes for a period of several minutes. During that time, my thoughts travelled back to the clear memories of what I had been like as a little boy and how my life had gradually gone down hill as the years went by. With sad recognition I traced my path from the lovely innocence of childhood to the broken, disillusioned state I now found myself in. I saw the harmful effect of my wrong choices and the influence that this shadowy world had had on my life. I suddenly realised that the things that Jesus Christ taught were pure and true and that He was the answer I was looking for. I was determined to find a way out of the mess that I was in, once and for all. I also was painfully aware of how I had failed my dear mother who had tried to teach me right ways. She reminisced every now and then on what a lovely little boy I had been. She would be devastated if she knew what my life had become. These realisations bought tears to my eyes and a desperate resolve to finally turn things around, no matter what the cost.
I eventually summoned the courage to confide in my girlfriend, knowing I was taking a risk, and found comfort and reassurance in her acceptance. I believe this sharing of my problem with someone who cared was an important step towards resolving it. With her support, I soon decided to seek professional help and started to meet with a counsellor. The counsellor talked with me about my problem and the motivating factors behind it. We then explored strategies of redirecting some of the impulses in more acceptable ways. While these strategies were of some help in controlling the symptoms, they were not the solution to my problem. The mysterious internal force leading me to steal persisted, as assertive and powerful as ever. I was in an ongoing struggle with it and losing more rounds than I was winning. Was I locked into this long battle with no hope of a decisive victory along the way? This apparent grim reality of my situation continued to haunt me.
After growing up in a traditional religious setting, I thought I knew about Christianity. It never occurred to me that my understanding might have been seriously flawed. As far as I could see, that 'church' was just a distasteful part of the system and I rejected it. In doing so, I threw the baby out with the bath water. This is an easy mistake to make for a teenager and many fall for it. Fifteen years later, things had been happening in my life to challenge some of my views. I knew something was going on and I had a sense of excitement about being on the threshold of a new discovery, a new dimension of human experience. While I did not believe in God, I knew that he might be there. Then, to my utter amazement, God Himself turned my whole world right way up! God did many incredible things in my life the day I became a Christian. Let's face it - I needed a major rebuild. Words can't describe it all adequately. It was like waking up from a life-long dream to discover a beautiful new reality that makes sense of the old reality but then goes so much further. Jesus came into my life, His healing power, and His unbelievable love flowed over me. Awesome changes occurred right inside me; I knew they were real. I had experienced many amazing things in my life prior to that day but none of them compared even faintly with what God did in me when I finally really believed in Jesus. One of the many things He did was set me completely free from my long struggle with stealing.
The night I became a Christian I slept the best, most peaceful night of sleep you can possibly imagine. It was heavenly to be able to rest like that. What a contrast to the troubled sleep that I had come to accept as normal. When I awoke the next morning I felt like I was a completely new creation. Before I had lifted my head from the pillow, a fantastic realisation swept over me. I WAS FREE! I knew that my struggle was over and I knew that this was something to do with believing the strange but wonderful truth that Jesus had died for my sins.
Many new Christians experience a strong desire to read the Bible and so did I. This desire comes from the Holy Spirit, the source of the new believer's life in Christ. As I read the Bible, hungry to learn more of God's truth, I noted many things. One of the principles that spoke directly to my life situation was that of restitution. Sure, I knew that God had forgiven me; there was no doubt about that. It was amazing to me that God's grace and mercy extended to lost cases like mine. But was that the end of the story? As I read through the Bible I encountered the principle of restitution in several different places. It makes sense when you think about it. Jesus' best-known teaching is 'Do to others as you'd have them do to you'. I spent the best part of two years and thousands of dollars seeking out and apologising to those that I had stolen from. Some were small businessmen that I knew personally. Some were managers of nationwide retail stores. Most were not Christians. On each occasion I offered restitution for the goods I had stolen.
On each occasion those that I had offended against received me graciously. Many were amazed. Some even refused to be compensated for their losses. In these cases I donated the money to charity. Some of the accounting systems of major stores couldn't cope with the situation, as it was that foreign to them. Some people were intrigued and curious to know more about why I had changed. I found this restitution to be a very positive action and I believe it is one that needs to be promoted more within the church.
changing stories |
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| N.R.L. referee (Tim Mander) |
You Took My Place |
Battle Lines | From Gutter to Glory | |||
| Dave's wife (Sarah) |
14 Good Reasons |
One Solitary Life |
The Hug | Review of The Da Vinci Code |
Music, poems |
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| Where will violence |
Scientific Evidence Against Evolution |
The Attorney | It's Christmas Again |
Ignited by Truth | Famous Christians | |
| Growing up in a Christian home |
Adventures in Prayer |
The Bridge | The Price | Darkness to Light | Great Links | |
| The effect of music More stories |
A New Life (What God has done for you) |
The Room | Deliverance | The Gift of Transformation |
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