Brian had a strong Christian heritage and grew up very aware of his need to get right with God by becoming a Christian. Nevertheless, he found that a difficult step to take. How much would he miss out on? Would there really be a difference in his life? A promise to his grandma and a bad day at golf helped him find out.
GROWING UP IN A CHRISTIAN HOME
I am the son of a lay preacher, the grandson of a fulltime evangelist, and the great grandson of a fulltime evangelist. I have believed in God for as long as I can remember. Sundays were usually very busy days for me as I went to church three times during the day. They were also somewhat stressful, leaving me in no doubt each week that I was a sinner on my way to hell. Don't get me wrong; I didn't think this was cruel and unusual. It was just the way things were for us on Sundays.
Dad died when I was five
I was pretty much a well-behaved kid and never got into too much trouble. My dad died when I was five, so I knew from an early age what death and separation was all about. I also knew how to become a Christian however, although I wanted to take this step, I did not find it easy to do so.
A difficult distinction
Being brought up in a Christian family and leading a fairly moral life, the distinction between being a Christian and not being a Christian can be hard to get a hold of. Would I miss out on too much if I became a Christian? Just what difference would there be to my life? These questions were important for me although they were the wrong questions! I still needed to become a Christian and I understood that being a Christian was about being in a real relationship with God and not in trying to do the best that I could.
A Goodbye Promise
My paternal Grandmother lived with our family until she died when I was aged eleven. I loved my Grandma very much and I remember clearly the night she was taken to hospital not long before she died. I was called in to say what turned out to be my last goodbye to her. She said she would probably be dying soon (not an easy thing to hear from someone you love when you are that young and yet really understand what it means) and that she would be in heaven soon with my Dad and Granddad and all the rest of the family. She said that she wanted to see me there as well and she made me promise that I would become a Christian and would see her in heaven.
A Stressful day of Golf
It was another four years before I fulfilled that promise. I remember the day very well. My brother had just taught me how to play golf and I liked the game very much although I was pretty hopeless at playing it (30 years on and my game is practically the same). Well, we were playing a round of golf with friends when I drove off and hooked the ball into thick bushes. I went to find my ball while the others teed off. As I was walking down the edge of the fairway I remember thinking what if one of the guys should hit me in the head with the ball and I die - that would be it - no Christian, no heaven. I quickened my pace, keeping one eye on the guys at the tee while praying that they would all hit good drives. They did, and I survived the ordeal.
Challenged again
That night my sister took me to her church for a youth night where an evangelist was speaking. He was speaking about Christ on the cross and explaining that it was for each one of us as individuals that he had suffered and died. I had heard it all before but that night it was different. He seemed to take me right there. I felt terribly convicted of my sin and wanted to become a Christian so much. We sang a song after the message but I was so emotional that I couldn't sing and only just managed to hold back the tears. During the final prayer I so wanted to accept Christ as my saviour but still I resisted and rushed outside as soon as it was over. My sister came out to see if I wanted to talk to anyone as she had seen how affected I had been, but I said no.
Why put this off any longer?
It's amazing how hard Satan fights to keep you from becoming a Christian - he knows all the right buttons to push. However, God can fight twice as hard if you let him. That night I thought about Christ's suffering and what it had cost God to make that sacrifice. I found myself lying in bed preaching to myself for a couple of hours until I got to the stage when I thought, why put this off any longer? So, at around midnight, I accepted Christ as my Saviour and Lord of my life. How did I do that? I can't remember the exact words that I used but it went something like this - I said that I was sorry for all the things that I had done wrong and to please forgive me for doing them and that I would try to not do anything wrong again. I thanked God for letting Christ die on the cross to set me free from my sin and I also thanked God for raising Christ from the dead and asked Him to be the Lord of my life.
Wow, what a feeling!
I went and told my mother and she was thrilled. I then went and told my sister and brother in law who were living with us at the time and they too were so pleased for me. I waited until the morning to let the rest of my family know. You know, I think it is very important to tell others when you have become a Christian. In Romans Ch10 verses 9 and 10 it says, "So you will be saved, if you honestly say, "Jesus is Lord," and if you believe with all your heart that God raised him from death. God will accept you and save you, if you truly believe this and tell it to others."
I couldn't get over how simple it was - I knew I only had to believe and pray and yet, beforehand, it had seemed the hardest thing in the world to do and afterwards, the simplest.
So, what difference did this make in my life?
As I said earlier I lived a moral life and this was true but I still sinned and now as a Christian I knew I was forgiven and acceptable to God. Before, I was terribly worried about dying or about what would happen if Christ should return - these worries left and have not returned. This is not to say I have become blasé about death, it's just that now I know and am sure of my future. It also doesn't mean that I have become Mr Perfect. Certainly not, but now I know that when I sin and ask God to forgive me, He does!
Feeling complete
When you become a Christian the Holy Spirit lives in you. What does this mean? For me it means you feel complete. We are body, soul and spirit. The body; we all know what that is, it is flesh and blood, the form that contains the real us. The soul; I believe that is our personality. It's what makes each of us who we are. The spirit; I think that is the essence of our being, our deepest self. It is that part of all of us that is eternal. It is that part of us that has a hole in it before we become a Christian and it is here that the Holy Spirit comes and resides and is able to converse with us from.
At the church I was attending I had a great teacher and mentor (Fred), who really fostered my growth as a Christian. He helped me understand many things and also imparted to me an openness in thinking for which I am still reaping the benefit from and will be forever grateful.
An upfront leadership role
When I was about twenty-four I experienced God telling me in complete clarity (not audibly but indelibly in my mind) that I should relocate to another church where He wanted me to become involved in youth leadership. This scared me to pieces because I am by nature an extremely shy person and the thought of having an upfront leadership role was just so frightening. You see, I knew this was from God and I knew if I went there I would be involved in youth leadership - no question about it, that was what God said will happen.
Not now God…
For a year I did not obey God. This made me feel rotten. You know how I said when the Holy Spirit enters you He fills a part that was empty. Well, when you disobey God, that disobedience is like you are squashing down the Holy Spirit and you start to feel that emptiness again and it just feels so, so bad. Finally, I couldn't take it any more. I just thought that I couldn't feel any worse obeying God than I felt disobeying Him, so I changed churches.
Part of a team
God is very gracious and I had a lot of healing to take place (mending that spiritual part of me that had been harmed by my disobedience). For the next year I just attended the church, not telling anyone of what God had told me about the youth leadership. Then, at our church family camp the leaders made an announcement that they were starting a new youth program and anyone interested in the leadership should meet after lunch. Well, I knew this meant me, but boy was I ever afraid. Then I thought, well this is what God wants, so I went to the meeting. To my great surprise there were four others there as well, so God eased me into leadership in a team. I was involved with the youth for around 8 years. God knew all along what He intended but I had to obey to find out that God is faithful and caring.
Outside my comfort zone
Later, I ran a home group for about five years before taking on the role of the church's Treasurer for six years. In all these ministries God has taken me outside of my comfort zone and I have learned to depend on Him.
This personal growth has also been reflected in my career. God can and does heal, change, mould and shape us to become the best we can, if we let Him.
God wants you have victory in your life and prayer is the key!
Brian
Here are some things for you to consider:
Psalm 33 v 6 - 8
The Lord made the heavens and everything in them by his word. He scooped up the ocean and stored the water. Everyone in this world should worship and honour the Lord! (This is the true meaning of life.) As soon as he spoke the world was created; at his command the earth was formed. (Words in italics are added.)
Romans 1 v 20
God's eternal power and character can't be seen. From the beginning of creation, God has shown what these are like by all he has made. That's why those people don't have any excuse.
Luke 11 v 9 &10
So I (Jesus) tell you to ask and you will receive, search and you will find, knock and the door will be opened for you. Everyone who asks will receive, everyone who searches will find, and the door will be opened for everyone who knocks.
John 3 v 16 - 18
God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, (Jesus) so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn its people. He sent him to save them! No one who has faith in God's Son will be condemned. But everyone who doesn't have faith in him has already been condemned for not having faith in God's only Son.
John 14 v 6
'I am the way, the truth, and the life!' Jesus answered. 'Without me, no one can go to God.'
